20 Self-Care Ideas for Anxiety to lead to a Massive Breakthrough

20 Self-Care Ideas for Anxiety to lead to a Massive Breakthrough

 

As a long-time anxiety-haver, I have found that one of the BEST ways to keep anxiety at bay is to do a heck of a lot of self-care. There are so many ways to do the whole self-care thing, but there are some ideas that are just better suited for anxiety!

These self-care ideas will leave you feeling more mentally free and physically energized, which definitely goes a long way when dealing with anxiety!

And honestly, some of these are nothing new, but they are THE most important things you can do for yourself!

This post may contain some affiliate links, but only to products that I believe in and that will improve your life! 

So here are my top 20 Self-Care Ideas for Anxiety

Habit-Based Self-Care Ideas for Anxiety

It can be REALLY hard to do anything when you feel anxious and stressed, and doing any of the following things might be VERY difficult. But it can be a bit easier than you think and over time, these things can become second nature to you.

Incorporating self-care habits into your life will make your day-to-day life feel a lot more enjoyable and these healthy habits will help you feel good physically and mentally, which can help you to avoid hitting those “lows” of your mental health and anxiety.

1. Declutter for 5 mins

Having less clutter in your physical space will lead to less clutter in your mental space. I know decluttering is the last thing you want to do when you feel anxious, but it helps so much! Just take baby steps, and do a couple minutes of decluttering in the spaces you use the most!

2. Do a quick, daily clean of your kitchen

Healthy eating is a big must for self-care, but you won’t want to cook if your kitchen is a mess!

Try cleaning the kitchen as you cook, or you can even trick yourself into doing it by just setting a 5-min timer and see how much you can get done! (You’ll usually want to do more later anyway).

3. Do your Laundry

Laundry tends to be something that literally piles up on you. It can act as this big weight on your mental health.

A great thing to get in the habit of doing is having one or two days a week where you just quickly throw in a load of laundry. Set a timer and just do it!

If you have to go to a laundromat, invite a friend with you and it will be much more enjoyable!

4. Cut back on spending (on frivolous things)

Financial troubles can be a huge cause of anxiety and stress, so cutting some of that burden can make a world of difference.

Making small changes can make a huge difference, like thrift shopping, making coffee at home and having more nights in with your friends (or virtual hang outs).

If you’ve been eyeing some new furniture, jewelry, or whatever it may be – you could try to go DIY!

It’s also important to budget and see where everything is coming from, I have a free little budget planner that you can get as part of my self-care planner + resources!

5. Try using a planner

Keeping track of these new healthy habits and planning out your self-care activities is an absolute must!

If you sign up for my self-care guide, you’ll get access to all my free worksheets and free courses that surround self-care! I have checklists, habit trackers, calendars, and mini-courses that are designed to help you implement self-care strategies into your life.

6. Daily gratitude

You can either do some journaling or just take the time at the beginning and end of each day to think about what you’re grateful for!

(Set a reminder for yourself to do this!)

7. Listening to music

Another easy thing to do that we forget so often! It just makes every part of your day better and can give you some motivation to do the tasks that you don’t feel like doing.

Maybe invest in a spotify account! Mine has worked wonders for me because now I always have access to good music!

Health Self-Care Ideas to reduce anxiety

8. Taking Vitamins and supplements

Things like b-12 and omega 3s can work wonders for your mood and focus, and supplements like magnesium are excellent for calming your body and muscles.

 9. Going on a daily walk 

Exercise has so many amazing health and mental health benefits.

You can do the shortest walk imaginable. Just tell yourself to go out for 5 mins (and then you’ll probably want to go for longer). 

Getting into the fresh air and releasing some endorphins will boost your mood significantly. Plus daily exercise has so many health benefits and has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety as much as anti-anxiety medication!

10. Learning how to cook! (Or at least adding more veggies and protein to your meals)

Eating healthy is so important for maintaining your mental health. A really easy way to start feeling better is to add more veggies and protein to each meal. Just this small thing can have a lot benefits!

If cooking really isn’t your thing, consider a health meal delivery service, like fresh meals! You can get healthy meals delivered straight to your door, and you won’t have to deal with ingredients going bad!

11. 8 cups of water (get a big-ass water bottle!)

It’s so simple and has so many benefits. Just do it! Set reminders if you must.

“Inner-work” self-care ideas for anxiety

12. Challenging and changing negative self-talk

Negative self-talk can turn a small stress into a big stress. Remind yourself to challenge that negative voice in your head! For every negative thing you catch yourself thinking, replace it with something more positive (or at least neutral).

13. Give yourself some real, good, self-love!

Practicing self-love and self-compassion will help every aspect of your mental health, especially when you’re feeling down about how anxious you feel (the anxiety-shame spiral is real folks!) Try these self-love journal prompts that will help you along your self-love journey.

14. Journaling

Journaling is good for everything emotional! It’s the perfect self-care go-to because you can journal for stress-relief, gratitude, self-love, anxiety-relief, inner-child work, and so much more!

15. Doing a deep (and uncomfortable ) self-assessment

Sometimes it’s very important to take a deep look at your own behaviours that might be affecting your situation. 

Are you self-sabotaging in your life and relationships? Are there areas in your life where you should be taking more responsibility?

What do you need to work on that will improve your life?

16. THEN FORGIVE YOURSELF. 

People make mistakes. EVERYONE makes mistakes. 

When you have anxiety or anything else affecting your mental health, it can be hard to do all the things that you know are good for yourself. And this can lead to an unfortunate shame spiral. 

Mistakes or self-sabotaging behaviour are a part of human nature. The important thing is that you learn and grow from these experiences. 

In my mind, there really is no such thing as mistakes, just learning experiences.

17. Consider therapy!

Therapy is something that is great for anyone and everyone! You don’t need to have a diagnosis to get therapy. And right now, online therapy is more accessible than ever! You can get all the help you need for half the price of traditional therapy.

18. Meditation

Learning to meditate and getting into the habit of meditation can be really hard because we’re always so used to having our minds constantly stimulated. However, just spending 5 mins in the morning or night (or both!) to do a quick meditation can work wonders! There are tons of great free meditations on youtube that you can find!

19. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is similar to meditation, it can take some time to get used to. However, mindfulness is probably the MOST useful tool when it comes to beating stress and anxiety.

Whenever I feel stressed about life in general and I find myself slipping into bad habits (like avoiding the world and not taking care of myself), I just think about what will make me happiest in the present moment. Is it worrying? (NO!) Is it doing something enjoyable like making a nice meal or hanging out with my friends? (YES!)

That’s how I try to make all of my life decisions now, and I have to say that it’s working out pretty well! 

20. Do a huge negativity purge!

I urge you to go through every aspect of your life and think about the things that are bringing you stress and negativity. If it doesn’t have space in your life, let it go!

Here are some quick tips to get started: go through your entire house and get rid of anything you don’t need, do the same with your workspace, your email list, your social media, and even your friend group!

Get rid of anything that doesn’t serve you!

So there you have it, the most important self-care ideas for anxiety and mental health!

If you want any extra help, you should sign up for my self-care guide and worksheets!

It includes

  • full self-care book! 
  • goal planner
  • meal planner
  • habit tracker
  • budget
  • much more!
Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Owner of Mindaya

Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
10 Ways to Create a Stress-Free Mindset

10 Ways to Create a Stress-Free Mindset

Stress is one of those pesky little things that unfortunately all of us have to deal with every once and a while. Some of us, however, may feel stressed-out more than others. In fact, if you’re anything like me, then you know what it’s like living with constant feelings of stress and anxiety.

This is no way to live. And that’s why I’m happy to tell you that there are actionable steps you can take to seriously reduce the stress levels in your life.

So sit back and relax, because here are 10 of the most effective ways of creating a truly stress-free mindset (so that you can start living your best life!).

    1. Focus on the present moment

    You’ve heard it before (probably a thousand times), but I’m gonna tell you again – mindfulness is key! When it comes to living a stress-free life, this is seriously where it all begins.

    Mindfulness means actively grounding yourself in the present moment. Too often, we spend our days locked up in our minds either ruminating over the past or worrying about the future. This leads to a constant underlying feeling of stress and uneasiness. The only antidote to this is bringing your attention fully to the present moment.

    Ask yourself: How am I feeling right here, right now?

    2. Exercise regularly

    Exercise has been proven time and time again to reduce stress and increase your happy hormones. It’s basically a one-stop shop for feeling good and getting those anxiety levels down!

    The best way to start implementing exercise into your daily routine is to not think of it as a chore and instead think of it as a tool to improve your mental health. 

    And remember – you don’t have to do a super intesne workout either! Even just going for a 20 minute walk can make a world of difference when you’re having a stressful day. 

    Ask yourself: what type of physical activity would suit my taste and my daily schedule?

    3. Stick to a daily routine

    This one tends to be hard for many people (including myself), but it’s essential in helping reduce stress on a day-to-day basis. Here are the 3 main reasons why:

    #1 – It reduces the number of decisions you have to make during the day (= less chance of “decision fatigue)

    #2 – It helps make you more efficient and wastes less time (= less overall stress)

    #3 – It helps you stick to daily habits that make you feel GOOD (such as going to bed at a certain time, eating at certain times, etc)

    Ask yourself: what daily routine would help me be the most efficient, while also the most calm?

    4. Focus on one thing at a time

    If you’ve ever had one of those days when you just have LOADS of stuff on your to-do list, then you’ll know that multi-tasking only makes things worse.

    The truth is, when we try to do too many things at once, it usually backfires. Not only are we actually less efficient (because we’re splitting our focus), but we also get more overwhelmed! Try giving yourself a break and just focus your attention on one thing at a time.

    Ask yourself: What items are the MOST pressing? What items can wait until a bit later?

    5. Simplify your schedule

    Despite what we may want to beleive, we really can’t do it all. 

    In fact, one of my favourite sayings is “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything”. This is great life advice. Honestly, sometimes you just need to make a compromise with yourself.

    Ask yourself: what items can I cut from my to-do list? (yes, it’s supposed to be hard!).

    6. Work on your confidence

    Sometimes we feel stressed at work or at school (or in other areas of our lives) because we don’t think we are good enough. 

    We think that we won’t be able to get something done on time or that it won’t be good enough. This can cause significant amounts of stress. 

    Working on your confidence is a great way to get to the core of the problem. I actually have some free journal worksheet for self-love (and consequently self-confidence) that you can sign up for below! And you’ll also get other worksheets that help with productivity and more!

    Ask yourself: What areas in my life could use a little self-esteem boost?

    7. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 rule

    The 5-4-3-2-1 rule was created by Mel Robbins and it’s a strategy that can help reduce procrastination and ultimately lead to reduced stress. 

    Basically, this principle just involves counting down from 5 and just doing whatever you don’t feel like doing when you reach 1. Almost like a ‘ready-set-go’ for your goals!

    This rule does work IF you really commit to it. It’s not a magical cure-all for procrastination, but with practice and commitment it can really help!

    Ask yourself: what do I really need to do but really don’t feel like doing?

    8. Trust that things will be okay

    Obviously, this one is much easier said than done, but it’s all about creating a gradual mindset shift. 

    Next time you find yourself stressing about something, try to accept the fact that most likely, things will work out. And if they don’t go super great, you’re strong enough to handle it!

    This is a principle that was extremely helpful in helping me reduce stress in my life and overcome anxiety.

    Ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen? (hint: it’s probabaly not that bad, and you’ll very likely be able to handle it!)

    9. Focus on things that bring you joy

    If you spend some time focusing on things that bring you joy, you’ll have less time to think about the things that make you stressed. 

    You’ll also generally feel happier, which will lead to more mental resilience when dealing with stress. 

    Ask yourself: what makes my soul light up?

    10. Take time to reflect on the things that make you the most stressed

    We are all so different, and what’s stressful for one person may not be stressful for the next.  

    This is why it’s important to identify what is causing stress for you and think of ways that will help you to reduce that stress in your life.  

    Ask yourself: what are my particular stress-triggers?

    P.S. If you need a little extra help reducing stress in your life, there’s always therapy/counselling/coaching, etc. These are always great options no matter how little or much stress you have! 

    P.P.S. You can also grab all of my free worksheets to help manage stress and improve your self-care!

    Sagesse ("Say Jess")

    Sagesse ("Say Jess")

    Owner of Mindaya

    Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
    How to Deal with Overwhelm

    How to Deal with Overwhelm

    When I was in university, I was enrolled in an engineering program, and this meant two things:

    1. That I had all my classes with the same group of students, and
    2. That we always had a sh*t ton of work to do!

    Every once and awhile though, that regular sh*t ton of work to do would turn into an unmanageable, completely impossible sh*t ton of work to do! We would sometimes have so much assigned to us at the same time that it actually seemed physically impossible to get it all done (which it was). 

    Thankfully though, there was always that one calm and collected classmate who would tell the professors that we had too much work to do, and the professors would then switch some deadlines around. 

    This experience taught me one very important thing about being overwhelmed: if it seems too unrealistic, it probably is. 

    So what does this mean for you?

    If you feel overwhelmed, take a step back and look at everything you have to do from an outside perspective. Is it too much for one person to do? Would someone else struggle if they were in your situation? Or is it just more than you should be handling right now? (Remember to go easy on yourself. If you’re feeling tired and rundown, you need to listen to your body and lessen your workload). 

    If after you’ve done this you realize that it is too much work for you, there are a few simple questions you can ask yourself to help the situation:

    • Are there any non-urgent tasks that I can push to do later?
    • Are there any tasks that I can postpone the deadline on or ask to get the deadline postponed on?
    • Are there any tasks I can easily delegate to someone else?

    Just these few things alone can lighten your workload immensely.

    For your remaining tasks (the ones that are urgent, the ones that you can’t postpone, and the ones that you can’t delegate), you can take the following steps to organize them in a way that will make them easier to handle:

    Step 1

    Group together all of the easier tasks that will realistically only take you about 5 – 10 minutes to complete. Then, schedule them into specific time slots when you’ll get them done (preferably earlier in the day so you can get them out of the way).

    Step 2

    After you’ve finished the easier tasks, get the most urgent tasks done. Even if they’re the ones you really don’t want to do – just get them done and out of the way (you’ll feel so much better once you do).

    Step 3

    Schedule time for your remaining tasks according to how much focus they require. For tasks that require more focus, schedule them during a time that you can be alone and more attentive. For tasks that don’t need as much focus, schedule them during the gaps in your day.

    Step 4

    Get it in your mind to focus on one thing at a time and to not hesitate. Often, when we have too much to do, we think about everything at once, which just makes us lose focus and become overwhelmed. We also tend to hesitate and overthink about what task we should begin first. This often leads to not doing anything at all! You just need to start doing one thing really well without overthinking it too much (this is why it’s important to schedule your tasks and stick to that schedule!).

    Some more things to keep in mind

    1. The world will go on if you don’t get everything done. The outcome is definitely not going to be as bad as you think it will be.
    2. There are always people who will be willing to help you if you have too much on your plate – you just need to reach out and tell them what’s going on. If you are sincere and vulnerable, people will understand and be happy to help (as long as it’s not a regular occurrence and you end up taking advantage of them).
    3. If you always have way too much to do, it’s time to be firm with yourself and reevaluate your workload to see if you have too many responsibilities. It might be helpful for you to cut something out of your life for a while if it’s taking too much of your time and damaging your mental health. 
    4. Take a minute to move your body and exercise! This will help you recharge your body and mind. Seriously, it works wonders – don’t underestimate it!
    5. Schedule in small breaks. Your mind can’t run on hyperdrive all day. Even a quick 10-minute break will help reset it.

    Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t have to be a normal state of mind for you. There are always things you can do to help relieve some stress and lessen your workload. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you’ll be able to start enjoying your life (no matter how busy you are!).

    Sagesse ("Say Jess")

    Sagesse ("Say Jess")

    Owner of Mindaya

    Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
    How to Ease Out of Social Distancing When You Have Social Anxiety

    How to Ease Out of Social Distancing When You Have Social Anxiety

    If you’re a naturally socially anxious person, you may be struggling with the whole quarantine thing. And I don’t mean being IN quaranitne (that was the easy part!), I’m talking about coming OUT of quarantine.

    If you’re anything like me, then social distancing was probably a breeze for you. You didn’t have to socialize with anyone, and you didn‘t have to go through any social awkwardness. Score!

    But now that the world is slowly starting to open back up again, you may have some anxious thoughts floating around your head, like “uh, I didn’t know how to talk to people in the first place – how am I supposed to just jump right back into this whole social thing now?!”.

    What makes it even worse is that there’s now this added awkwardness because you still have to stay distanced from people, so you can’t shake hands or hug. This then begs the question – “what the heck do I do instead?!“. 

    Well, have no fear! This is exactly what I’m here for!

    Here are my top 4 tips on how to ease out of quarantine if you’re socially anxious

    1. Write a list of social situations that make you anxious

    Everyone reacts differently to different social situations. Take some time here to write a list of all the social situations that trigger anxiety for you. Is it running into people you haven’t seen in a long time? Is it hugging? Is it small talk? Big groups? One-on-one chats? Everyone is totally different. After you’ve done this, take a moment to write down whether or not COVID has made each situation better or worse.

    For me, I’ve noticed that I get social anxiety when I hang out with aquaintances. I’m not close enough to them that the conversation flows easily, so I find it can sometimes feel a bit awkward.

    This, of course, gets even worse when you add social distancing into the equation. Now these already-awkward acquaintance hang-outs turn even more uncomfortable because 1) we have to stay awkwardly far apart and 2) conversation gets old REAL fast (explaining what you’ve been doing – or not doing – during quarantine really doesn’t make for dazzling conversation).

    Another anxiety-inducing situation for me is seeing people out in public when I’m not “prepared” for them. For example, when I’m grocery shopping and I see someone I *kind of* know. I never know if I should wave, smile, stop and talk, or just keep walking!

    This is also worse with COVID because now everyone’s wearing a mask, so it’s hard to see what their facial expression is…which makes it even harder to know how to act! Ahh!

    2. Write down ways that you can make each situation less anxiety-inducing

    Once you’ve identified your anxiety-inducing sitatuons, it’s time to start thinking of ways you can make yourself feel more comfortable with them.

    But keep in mind, “avoiding” is NOT (I repeat NOT) a valid solution! Going through life attempting to just dodge every situation that makes you feel uncomfortable is only going to add to the problem. Trust me, it may make you feel good in the moment, but it will not serve you in the long term.

    Instead, try to think of little things you can do to just relieve some of your stress. It could be as simple as doing some deep breathing exercises before going into a nerve-racking social situation.

    For me, I found that the most effective way to combat my social anxiety was to just expose myself to situations that made me feel anxious. I didn’t like it at first, but the more I forced myself to do it, the more comfortable I got with it. If you can get used to being comfortable even in slightly awkward situations, a whole new world will open up for you! 

    3. Prepare yourself beforehand

    This is something I’ve been doing for-ever! And I promise you, it works – VERY WELL.

    If I’m going into a social situation where I know I may not have many things to talk about, I prepare a little list in advance of stories I’ll share or questions I’ll ask. I know, I know – it may sound a bit “over-achiever”, but hey – it does the job!

    This is especially helpful for coming out of quarantine and reconeccting with people you maybe haven’t seen in several months. It can be super awkward knowing how to summarize an entire 4-5 months of your life where you’ve been doing prettttty much nothing at home!

    Here’s a great list of conversation starters to get you inspired by ‘people expert’ Vanessa Van Edwards!

    4. Find ways to practice – start small, and slowly work up

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the BEST way to overcome your anxiety is to face your fears head-on. This goes for social anxiety as well!

    Start by choosing low-stress social situations. What makes you slightly anxious, but not overly anxious? Talking to strangers on the phone? Talking to friends on the phone? Meeting people for coffee? Again, it’s totally different for everyone.

    Once you’ve gotten used to exposing yourself to these “low-risk” situations, raise the bar a little bit. Keep working yourself up to more anxiety-inducing situations bit-by-bit until finally, you’re ready to face your biggest fears. This is called ‘exposure therapy’, and it works amazingly. In fact, it was the #1 way I was able to overcome social anxiety myself!

    Other tips for coming out of quarantine

    I know it can be awkward meeting people in person but still staying 6 feet apart. You may feel like you’re being cold by not hugging someone or shaking their hands. I say, just address the elephant in the room! Try saying outright, “I’d shake your hand (or hug you), but you probably don’t want my germs!”. You’d be surprised at how well this can break the tension!

    I also suggest mirroring the other person and just doing what they do. This can release a lot of pressure on you to “do the right thing”. Sometimes, it’s good to be a follower!

    Below, you’ll find links to some more helpful resources that will guide you in getting to the root cause of your social anxiety so that you can learn how to overcome it – I highly recommend checking them out! 

    Sagesse ("Say Jess")

    Sagesse ("Say Jess")

    Owner of Mindaya

    Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
    7 Outrageous Media Misconceptions that are Making You Unhappy

    7 Outrageous Media Misconceptions that are Making You Unhappy

    Lately, I’ve been kinda pissed off at the media. 

    In a world where it’s getting harder and harder to make enough money to live and do the things that make us feel good (a.k.a keep us from getting super anxious!), we are also being bombarded with things in the media that make us feel even worse!

    So in this blog post, I thought I’d share with you 7 of the biggest (and most dangerous) misconceptions the media is telling us. And remember – the most important thing to know when it comes to media consumption is that we all need to take responsibility for and be super mindful of what we let into our mental space (and our phones!).

    1. That you need to go to school, get a job, go into debt to buy a house, and then retire when you’re too old to enjoy it

    This is something I have talked about probably a million and one times before – because it is SO TRUE. We are being told that every human on planet earth should follow the same linear trajectory in life. How crazy is that? We are all completely different, and we all have our own stories to write.

    So if you don’t land that perfect job right after graduating, don’t worry – pretty much none of us do. In all honesty, it’s a bit of a fantasy. And even if some people do land the job of their dreams right away, so what? Their life path has nothing to do with yours. We need to stop pretending we still live in a 1950’s sitcom. Life is so much more complex than that – we are so much more complex than that. And that’s what makes life so beautiful!

    2. That you need to find the “perfect” partner (and basically everything else they teach you about romance in the movies and TV)

    This is so not true. Cinderella is a fantasy, just like Bridget Jones’s Diary is a fantasy. Why? Because they don’t reflect how love really is. Love is…

    Actually, there’s no one way to describe love! This is because it’s different for each and every one of us. Sometimes it’s messy, sometimes it’s confusing, sometimes it’s painful. Love can be anything. Those warm and fuzzy romantic dreams that Hollywood feeds us is nothing but a facade. Don’t forget – movies only last for 2 hours. How on earth can a 2 hour acted drama be a reflection of real life? Real life is a whole lot messier and a whole lot longer than that.

    And on top of all that, the “perfect” partner doesn’t even exist. That’s right, there’s no such thing as Prince Charming. Nobody is perfect. We all have our faults, and if you expect your significant other to be some sort of God on earth, you’re going to be very disappointed (note: this shouldn’t be upsetting – it should be encouraging!)

    3. That everything in life is easy and do-able

    It’s a common misconception that people reach their goals in life really fast. What you don’t see, however, is all the crazy hard work that people put into it behind the scenes (and how long it took them to get there!). 

    I watched one show recently that showed kids in high school developing apps in their spare time and making tons of money off of them. The show made it look so simple. Like, these kids just started developing apps on a Tuesday afternoon and it took off.

    And we can’t forget the millions of influencers on our social feeds who appear to have these sparkly, perfect lives and make everything in their daily life look dazzling

    The truth is, though, you’re not actually seeing all the gruelling hours of work that’s been put in behind the scenes. And on top of that, most of the stuff we do see is seriously edited anyway. 

    4. That you need to have a “perfect” body and that most people have perfect bodies because you see it everywhere

    I was watching ‘Friends’ recently and I couldn’t get over how good the actresses’ bodies were. They just looked so “perfect”. And as I was watching, I noticed that I began to suddenlty feel insecure about my body!  

    But then I thought about it for a minute – these are professional actors who basically get paid to look good. Their job is to stay in impeccable shape. Comparing myself to this way of celebrity living is just ridiculous. I don’t want to spend most of my day working on my weight and my body – that’s just not realistic for my way of life, and I’m sure it’s the same for a lot of you, as well.

    5. That mental illness is “cool”

    This one is a bit of a touchy subject because if you do have a mental illness, it’s nice to make light of it sometimes because then it doesn’t feel so bad.

    But there’s a flipside to this, as well. There are so many people in the media who claim that they have OCD or that they’re depressed – but they only say it to give them a “quirky” or “cool” vibe.

    Again, we can look at the show ‘Freinds’. Monica basically has OCD. In the show, her OCD (although it’s really not OCD) is portrayed as something that makes her fun and silly. In reality though, OCD is a serious mental health issue, and I guarentee you that people who truly have OCD do not feel like it’s just a quirky, fun character trait. I can say from experience that it’s actually a very tormenting thing that makes you feel awful. 

    6. That everyone knows exactly what to say all the time

    For a lot of people who struggle with social anxiety (or just may not be very socially-adept), it can be intimidating watching all those people in the media who always seem to have the perfect thing to say all the time. It could be people on TV, in the movies, even on YouTube and Instagram – everyone’s conversation and dialogue just seems to flow so smoothly! 

    But we need to remember that none of this is actually natural. People on TV and in the movies have scripts, and people on social media are just posting their highlights. Real life, on the other hand, doesn’t have the luxury of being rehearsed and edited.

    So don’t compare yourself to people you see in the media – it’s a totally unrealistic standard. And I’m willing to bet that if you met a lot of these people in real-life, they probably won’t come across as such smooth-talkers!

    7. That buying product ‘x’ will make you happy

    I didn’t really realize this until I started an online business myself, but honestly everyone is trying to sell you something. What does this mean? It means that when they make recommendations or when they make certain posts about products, they don’t always have your best interest in mind, and they could be lying or stretching the truth.

    Even things that seem super trust-worthy like university and the pharmaceutical industry are just businesses trying to sell to you! So if you think you have all the information, remember: what you see isn’t always what you get. That new, sparkly product that your favourite YouTuber is plugging may not be the Holy Grail to everlasting happiness…it may just be the key to some extra cash in their pocket!

    Moral of the story: most things are an illusion and they can seriously warp our perspective of reality to the point that we start to think we’re inadequate

    The media is made up primarily of things that are 1) meant to entertain you, and 2) make you feel inadequate. This is for one reason only: so that people can make money off of you

    So be careful and be conscientious when choosing what media you watch. There are of course some good people out there (I hope I’m one of them!) who are trying to do things to genuinely help other people. I myself do sell some products but I also offer a lot of free information and basically I only sell products so that I can make this website and make a living off of it (and provide more free information down the road!).

    And there are a lot of other content creators doing just the same, but there are bad seeds out there who ruin it for everyone. And it’s the bad seeds that have the ability to warp our minds and leave us feeling inadequate and unhappy. So when it comes to the media, remember: be picky, and take everything with a grain of salt!

    Sagesse ("Say Jess")

    Sagesse ("Say Jess")

    Owner of Mindaya

    Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
    12 Ways to Reconnect with Your Inner Child

    12 Ways to Reconnect with Your Inner Child

    In part 1 of this article, we went over how negative experiences from our childhood has lead to us having unhealed wounds in our adulthood. We also discussed the 22 ways you can tell that you may have unhealed wounds.

    Now it’s time to move onto the fun part – that is, the healing part

    The importance of healing your inner child

    When we nurture our unhealed wounds from childhood, we are “re-parenting” the childlike part of ourselves. We are telling our inner child that it’s okay, that she’s not in danger, and that we haven’t forgotten about her. Okay, I know it sounds super hippy-dippy and New Age-y, but TRUST ME, it will make such a huge difference in your life! Besides, the alternative is much worse.

    If we ignore the fact that our inner child has wounds (which a lot of us do) and if we don’t give our inner child the nurturing and attention it needs (which a lot of us don’t), we’ll keep performing the same negative behaviours over and over and over in our life. And it will just make us feel worse and worse about ourselves.

    Too often, instead of giving our inner child the attention, encouragement, and support that it yearns for, we put her down and criticize her. We look in the mirror and lament about how much weight we’ve gained or how “ugly” we are. We scold ourselves if we eat a little bit too much, if we don’t do something “perfectly”, or if we say something “wrong” in a social situation. We tell ourselves that our partner is going to leave us, that we’re worthless, that we’re a failure.

    We need to stop putting our inner child down.

    It’s time to re-parent that forgotten part of ourselves. It’s time to revisit the unmet needs, irrational fears, unsolved questions, suppressed emotions, lost enthusiasm, and forgotten creativity. Our inner child is and always has been there, and she’s crying out at us for the guidance that was lost along the way.

    12 ways to heal and reconnect with your inner child

    1) Apologize for neglecting your inner child

    You need to acknowledge and tell yourself that you’re sorry for disregarding your inner child for so long. This is the first step in getting a dialogue between you and her started back up again!

    2) Remind yourself how wonderful you are

    Stop focusing on your flaws and all the things “wrong” with you. Every day, write down three things that you love about yourself. It could be anything from your ability to make other people laugh to your Minnie Mouse-shaped birthmark on your foot!

    3) Be mindful of (read: CENSOR) your inner critic

    Remember – just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean the child you once were is gone. Look at a photo of yourself as a child and realize that whenever you say hurtful things to yourself, you are saying those hurtful things to that vulnerable child in the photograph. I know, it’s sad – but it’s true.

    4) Find a safe place

    Make sure you have a physical space where you can just hide away from the world for a while and let your inner child’s thoughts and imagination run free. Maybe it’s your favourite cafe, maybe it’s a spot in the forest, or maybe it’s in the corner of your closet!

    5) Pay attention to your feelings

    Ask yourself throughout the day, “how am I feeling right now?” (*spoiler*: the answer you get is from the voice of your inner child! She loves when you ask her this question). Keep in mind: the most important part of this is taking how she responds seriously.

    inner child guidance

    6) Tell yourself you have nothing to feel ashamed about

    There’s no need to hold onto shame or regret of things that happened in the past. You’re a human, you’re learning, and you will make mistakes (because that’s what humans do). Just let it go and make sure your inner child knows that you forgive her. Trust me, this will make her VERY giddy to hear!

    7) Remind yourself that you’re not at fault

    As we’ve learned, a lot of how you behave isn’t because of you, but because of your environment. Go easier on yourself – a lot of it’s not even your fault! Think about it, would you blame a child this much? Likely not!

    FYI – this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work on bettering yourself, it just means you shouldn’t do it from a place of blame.

    8) Rediscover a forgotten passion

    Did you love making art when you were a child? Grab some coloured pencils and get drawing! Don’t worry about it being “good” or not. Your inner child doesn’t care about those sorts of things.

    9) Do ‘childlike’ things

    Reconnect with the little things that brought you joy as a kid. Maybe you loved a particular type of sugary cereal – buy it and have it for breakfast every now and then! Maybe you loved playing games on your PlayStation – get an old copy Spyro or Crash and just enjoy!

    10) Write a letter to your inner child

    Write anything that comes from the heart. It could be nurturing words, an apology, encouragement, advice, or even a short story! Just write something – your inner child will love reading it no matter what it is (bonus: your inner child doesn’t even care about grammar!)

    11) Visualize

    Here’s a fun exercise – grab a photo of yourself as a child and stand in front of a mirror. Look at the photo, and then look at yourself. This will really help you make a connection between yourself and your inner child and will help you visualize yourself as that child now!

    *Tip: This is a great exercise to do onto other people as well. Look at the people in your life – your friends, your partner, your parents – and imagine them as children. When you do this, you’ll come to realize that everyone, just like you, has an inner child that has wounds and insecurities that needs nurturing. This is a great way to cultivate compassion and understanding towards others.

    12) Remember it takes time

    Years of neglecting your inner child won’t solve itself overnight, but with little steps taken each and every day, you will get there. Each time you do something to reconnect with your inner child, you’ll notice that little differences start sprouting up in your life. And trust me, it’ll be an amazing thing for you to experience.

    When we heal our inner child, we let go of things in the past that we didn’t even realize we were holding onto. We learn to become in tune with ourselves in a way that we didn’t know we were missing out on. We learn, most of all, to love ourselves.

    Natalie Burns-Holland

    Natalie Burns-Holland

    Content Creator at Mindaya

    Natalie is a freelance writer living in Edinburgh, Scotland.