8 Essential Ways to Protect Your Emotions as an Empath

8 Essential Ways to Protect Your Emotions as an Empath

Lately I’ve been feeling VERY emotional. Is it because my life is difficult right now? No. Is it because life is difficult for some people I care about? Yes!

I’ve realized that I am a TOTAL empath!

I’ve always been aware that I’m generally empathetic, but lately it’s been much more prominent in my life and more difficult to deal with. And I bet many of you can relate!

That’s why I started thinking of ways we empaths can protect ourselves so we don’t get too drained and overwhelmed. 

If you’re here, you probably already know that you’re an empath, but in case you’re not sure, here are some ways to tell.

  • You can feel just as sad when something bad happens to someone you know as you would if it happened to you
  • You frequently feel emotional and don’t really know why
  • You may feel anxiety over jobs or tasks that will impact someone else
  • You get really sad during emotional movies
  • You generally feel a desire to help people and love the idea of improving the lives of others

So when you are an empath and exhibit some of these qualities, it can be very easy to get either emotionally drained or emotionally overwhelmed. 

So here are 8 ways to protect your emotions as an empath

#1 Reflect on who or what causes you to feel drained or overwhelmed

Do you feel drained after watching the news? Do you feel overwhelmed when reading about problems happening in the world?

Does the same happen when someone you know is having a bad day?

Or do you have someone in your life who uses you as an emotional crutch? (Either intentionally or not)

These things can be very draining for an empath and it’s the first step to recognize them.

#2 Recognize that you can’t fight people’s battles for them

As an empath, you probably want to solve everyone’s problems because you will feel so affected by them. 

Whether it’s wanting to save the world or fix all the problems of those close to you, you can’t do it all.

That isn’t to say that you can’t do your part to help the world or your loved ones, but recognize that you can only do so much – and that you do need to take care of your mental wellness first.

#3 Give what is within your comfortable range

So we already know that you would do anything for the people you care about, but let’s be real – you have limits. You can’t do it all. 

Figure out what is reasonable for you that you can help with and do that. 

You’ll feel good about contributing, but you won’t feel overwhelmed or drained. 

Related Article:  100 Self-Care Activities

#4 Determine your boundaries and stick to them

You can take #3 a step further and really figure out what you are able to give to others while still protecting your own emotional health.

A little exercise I like to do is think about about what “fills my cup” and what “empties my cup”.

There’s a popular saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, meaning that you can’t help or give to others if you aren’t at your best (or at least at a good emotional level).

Make sure you stay away from the things that empty your cup.

If you are constantly doing things for people that empty your cup, you will burn out. 

If you’re getting drained by trying to please everyone, here are some tips:

-in any area of life, whether it’s at work or in your personal life, know that it’s ok to say no to things!

-be genuine and express that you just don’t have the emotional capacity right now

-if you do want to help people but you just find they drain you a bit too much, set a limit. Let them know you are there for them, but tell them in advance that you can only give so much time

-recognize that each person is in charge of their own lives and, whether they realize it or not, it will benefit them to work through their problems on their own.

#5 COMMUNICATE!!!!!

If there are people who continuously draining your energy and causing you negative emotions, you MUST communicate with them clearly. 

Let them know how they can affect you in a calm and nice way. 

Tell them that there are certain things you can’t help with and suggest someone that can help them (therapist, professional advisor, etc.)

If you let people know that you care, and that you actually might care too much, they will be more understanding.

Let them know that you are still there to listen, but that sometimes you need a break. Again, suggest therapy or counselling (or even a helpline) if you feel like they need more help or if you are worried that they are in a crisis. 

If it’s a co-worker or boss that is draining your energy by being demanding, callous, mean, or anything else that makes you feel upset – communication is key.

As an empath, you will take on that energy so strongly and it will not be a good environment for you.

And although it might seem scary to confront someone you work with (especially one who might be a little bit scary to you), it will be much better for you in the long run to at least try to make things better for yourself.

#6 Make time for self-care!!!

You need a you day! You NEED self-care in order to re-charge your mental energy.

Remember how we talked about filling your cup? Well in my mind, self-care is the best way to fill your cup.

Make sure that you do the things that fill your cup!

You can check out my post on 100 self-care ideas or sign up to get TONS of self-care worksheets, journal exercises, and tips on happy and healthy living! 

#7 Journal

Journaling is an incredible way to release your emotions if you are feeling bogged down by them. 

You can use stream of consciousness journaling to let go and release all of your thoughts onto paper. 

You can also use guided exercises like the 5 why’s and a thought dissection exercise. You can get them by following the links or you can download my free self-care worksheets above, so you can get beautiful printable worksheets (you can also fill them in my editing the pdfs). 

Just write down how you feel and that can help you get your thoughts and feelings out of your mind and body. 

#8 Consider therapy, counselling, or coaching

Sometimes these empathetic feelings can really affect you, and that’s ok.

Sometimes there are toxic people that are hard to escape from. (And if you do think you’re in a toxic or even abusive relationship, there are resources to help, like this website)

Therapy or counselling is an excellent way to deal with your emotions. Whether you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or just need advice on how to deal with different people and situations in your life! 

You can also consider online therapy, which is a great way to get counselling and therapy from the comfort of your own home!

Protecting your emotions as an empath is ESSENTIAL

If you need any extra help with self-care and your mental health I have tons of free resources that you can use below! 

It comes with 100+ journal prompts (and many more resources) that can help you to manage your emotions and live a balanced and healthy life!

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Owner of Mindaya

Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
30 Days of Self-Love for a More Confident You! | Self-Love Challenge

30 Days of Self-Love for a More Confident You! | Self-Love Challenge

“I’m not good enough for that”

“They’re not going to like me”

“There’s no way I could ever do that” 

“Ugh I wish I was skinnier”

“I can’t believe I said that. Why did I say that???”

These are just a few examples of things that we say to ourselves that can be completely unfair and definitely not self-loving. 

If you find yourself saying any of these things to yourself or anything similar, you can definitely benefit from a 30-day self-love reset.

You can definitely go through these exercises in less or more time than the 30 days, but I feel that 30 days is a good length of time to create a habit of self-love. 

I have outlined everything in this post, but if you would like a beautiful printable copy to follow along with, you can sign up below for free!

You’ll also get tons of other printable sheets to help you with self-care, mental health, productivity, and really everything that contributes towards a happy and healthy life!

Why I created 30 Days of Self-Love

I used to be one of those people who did not have much self-love at all.

I was constantly beating myself up about every little thing I did wrong, I would be up all night if I said anything I thought was “stupid”, I was constantly sad if I wasn’t doing as well as other people in school or in my career, and I was unfair to my body because I didn’t look the way I thought I should. 

The list goes on.

I didn’t realize that these unhelpful sayings were actually way more toxic than I thought.

These were signs of a severe lack of self-love.

To love someone is to love them for not only for their good qualities but for their flaws as well. 

Think about how you give love to others: 

You still love your parents even though they’re not perfect.

You still love your friends even though they’re not perfect.

You still love your partner even though they’re not perfect.

You still love your dog even though… wait… nevermind, dogs are perfect! 

But you get my point! 

You need to love yourself like you love others!

You need to learn to love yourself FOR your flaws and for the amazing strength you have for surviving the things that have made you feel like you are not good enough.

But now, it’s time to change how you think about those things that made you have love for yourself less and start using them as your strengths. 

My Biggest Self-Love Breakthrough

When I FINALLY started to truly love myself was when I forgave myself for my mistakes and showed myself compassion for all the things I had been through.

Life is unfair, and there are a lot of great people who get a lot of crap thrown at them that they don’t deserve. 

That includes you. 

And you have to realize that it’s not your fault that these things happened to you. 

People are mean to you because they have problems.

People expect you to be skinny/pretty (or any other annoying standard) because society has problems.

You have unrealistic success standards for yourself because you are comparing yourself to unrealistic standards that don’t reflect reality.

What to Expect for the next 30 Days of Self-Love 

So for the next 30 days, we’re going to focus on retraining your brain on how you see yourself, your successes, and your failures.

Each day will build off of the previous day to slowly bring you to having more love for yourself. 

Try to do these in the morning so that you can keep the positivity flowing throughout the day!

Day 1: Write an intention that you can use every day.

Here are some examples. 

A daily intention will help you start your day with purpose. You can write the intention (or a new intention) at the top of your journal page every morning so that you can remind yourself every day. 

Day 2: Write five positive affirmations about yourself. 

Think about different aspects of your personality and why they make you truly unique.

Try to incorporate saying these into your daily routine.

Hint: try things like writing them on your mirror (or on a piece of paper and tape it to your mirror) or saying them when you wake up (along with your daily intention).

Day 3: List all of the toxic things you say about yourself

(I know that you know you’re being toxic to yourself, don’t say that you don’t know which habits are toxic)

But if you don’t know, some toxic habits include:

-beating yourself up over tiny mistakes

-calling yourself stupid

-believing everything is your fault and that you are somehow responsible for how others are feeling

This is going to be a great way to identify when you are being unfair to yourself.

Day 4: Re-wiring thought patterns

This is an exercise that you should do every time you have a negative thought.

Look back at your toxic habits from yesterday’s exercise. 

For every bad thought about yourself, write something positive.

For every fear or insecurity you have, write a strength that you have that could help you deal with the fear or insecurity.

Think about why you feel you say those things to yourself. What could be the cause?

Day 5: Write a letter to your childhood self. 

What were your insecurities? 

How do you feel about them now? 

What have you learned since then? 

How can you apply that now? 

Day 6: Write a letter to your teenage self.

What were your insecurities? 

How do you feel about them now? 

What have you learned since then? 

How can you apply that now? 

Day 7: Write yourself a pep talk for when you feel sad or full of doubt. 

Sometimes we get caught up in our minds, and our emotions, like fear, doubt, and sadness can cause us to lose sight of all the positive things about us and in our lives. It’s important to have something to look back on when you’re feeling down.

Day 8: What kind of words would your closest friend, sibling, or parent say about you? 

And don’t say that they don’t have anything good to say about you, because they definitely do have kind words to say about you, even if you don’t think so.

Day 9: For every “weakness” you think you have, write a strength that you have. Or even better, write ways in which your weakness is actually a strength.

This is another way to rewire your thinking patterns.

Day 10: Write a list of inspirational quotes to look back on. 

Here are some of my favourites:

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, try approving of yourself and see what happens” – Louise Hay

“In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you” – Andrea Dykstra

“Your greatest responsibility is to love yourself and to know that you are enough” – Unknown

Day 12: Write five things you can do right now that can help you feel better. 

This is important because it gives you the power. This is going to help show your brain that you are in control.

Day 13: Think back to the times where you have felt uncomfortable receiving a compliment. 

Why do you think that is?

This is a great time to do the “5 why’s exercise”. Where you ask yourself “Why?” 5 times, each time diving deeper and getting to the original root cause of your fear or insecurity.

Day 14: When was the last time you felt empowered and like a true badass? 

What were you doing? 

Do you remember what you were thinking about yourself? 

Try to use these feelings and situations in the future to start feeling like this more often!

Day 15: Write a letter to your insecurities and tell them why they absolutely don’t define you. 

What defines you is your character and your will to improve if you’ve done something wrong.

Nothing else really matters.

Day 16: Write as if: how would you act if you were the most confident person in the world? 

What would you do? What would you wear? How would you approach people? How would you handle arguments? How would you handle your mistakes?

Day 17: Write down a list of people you admire.

In what ways are you similar to them?  

Day 18: What do you need to forgive yourself for?

Stop beating yourself up for every little thing. We are all human and certainly cannot be perfect. It is perfectly ok that you have made mistakes, as long as you can own them and strive to be better next. It’s really all that you can do. 

Day 19: Write yourself a letter giving yourself forgiveness.

The act of writing this and letting go of the things that bring you guilt and shame can be very freeing.

This is something you can come back to when you are feeling guilty or shameful.

Day 20: What are your core values? Why do they make you special?

We all have unique ways of adding value to the world and that can make us very special.

Core values include: being kind, supporting the environment, being honest, being loyal, defending others, helping others by giving constructive criticism, and many other things.

Day 21: Write a list of your greatest accomplishments.

Even if they are super small, they are an accomplishment. 

Even if it was as simple as getting out of bed

Day 22: Write a list of ways that you add value to the world. 

Remember that there are many things that you do that people appreciate about you, but you just don’t realize that they do. 

Think about even the smallest things: do you smile at people? Do you make people feel included? Do you hold the door open for people? Do you make a killer lasagna? Whatever it is, know that you add a unique value to the world and that is something to be proud of.

Day 23: What are some things you can work on to be the person that you want to be. 

Attention: This does not mean changing yourself or any of your core values! It also does not mean that you are not incredible the way you are. It just means that you can make some adjustments to start working towards your personal goals. 

Day 24: Write why it’s OK that you are not there yet.

It’s perfectly ok to not quite be there (or to be far from that “ideal” version of yourself). You are amazing the way you are.

Also, there are things in your life that you have gone through that have caused mental or emotional blocks for you, or maybe have caused

Day 25: Why is it important to you to be this “ideal person”? 

Do you feel pressured?

Does it align with your core values? 

Day 26: What are your true dreams? 

What is standing in your way? Why? Write why it’s ok that you are not there yet. Write actions tips that you can start doing to get closer to that dream.

Day 27: Write something positive about each of your body parts, face, and even your “problem areas”. 

Body shame is another huge reason for a lack of self-love, but why should it matter? 

Don’t like the look of your legs? They help you walk, dance, run, play sports, you name it! You should be grateful to them, not being ashamed and trying to change them.

Day 28: List your biggest triumphs. 

What have you overcome to get where you are today? There have probably been many obstacles you have overcome that you should be so proud of!

Day 29: Imagine you had a friend with all of your exact characteristics.

What positive things would you say to them? What would you tell them if they had a bad day? And what would you say to them if they failed at something? 

Trying to see things from a different perspective can help you to go easier on yourself. You wouldn’t judge someone else (especially a friend) nearly as much as you judge yourself.

Day 30: Write 5 positive affirmations about yourself

Yes, you did do this on day two, but I want you to do this again (without looking back to day two) and then compare to see how far you have come on your self-love journey.

***

Feel free to look back on any of these exercises when you need a little extra love! Your whole idea of yourself might not change in just 30 days, but it’s definitely worth it to start!

If you want a gorgeous, printable version of this you can sign up below to get access for free!

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Owner of Mindaya

Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
The Ultimate Work-From-Home Guide (11 Steps to Build the Perfect Routine)

The Ultimate Work-From-Home Guide (11 Steps to Build the Perfect Routine)

You’re working from home now.

This is what you’ve been waiting for. You get to do work in your pyjamas and can take as many breaks as you want!

This is great!

But somehow, and you don’t quite know how it happened, your day has turned into a blend of working, tv, snacking constantly, and now you’ve spent the whole day half-working and not getting as nearly as much done as you thought you would.

It’s an easy trap to get into (and I know because I was in it for a loooong time), but I have found some great tips to help you to work from home without distractions or 

Let’s take a look at the ideal work-from-home routine!

Disclaimer: Products on this page may contain affiliate links. We only promote products that we think are super awesome and will provide value to you! You can read more about our terms here.

Step 1: Develop a daily ritual!

This is essential to keep yourself from slipping into the “work-from-home limbo”, where you don’t know what you’re doing, where you’re going, or even what day it is! Humans thrive on rituals and familiarity.
I’ve been working at home for a while and I realized that I don’t like having my day overly planned, but I do like to have a few non-negotiables throughout my day!

Step 2: More specifically, develop a morning ritual that you look forward to so that it makes waking up easier! 

I find it incredibly difficult to wake up if I don’t have somewhere to be, so I use a few tricks to help me to get out of bed!
Such as
  • looking forward to my morning coffee
  • having a shower
  • having my smoothie bowl and toast for breakfast!
It can be INCREDIBLY hard to get out of bed if you don’t have something FORCING you to, so if you can, try to schedule something in the morning that will get you up and out of bed! Maybe like a phone call with a friend who also needs some extra motivation, or find a live, online workout class or meditation! Get creative!

 

Step 3: Have a dedicated workspace. 

It can be oh-so tempting to work from the couch, but the posture you have on a couch signals your body to be too relaxed and definitely not in “work-mode” 
This will also separate your “work-life” from your “home-life”.
If you get bored sitting in one place all day, then have your main workspace (for getting the really intense stuff done) and then have a back-up workspace, when you don’t need to concentrate as much.

Step 4: Keep up with your scheduling

First of all – use google calendar!!

This is the best scheduling program! You can make multiple calendars for the different things you have going on (so you can see them either all together or separately!)

It’s so easy and you can drag and drop anything you have scheduled! Which is especially great if you have unforeseen things come up in your day – with trust me, happens a lot when you’re working at home!

Bonus: make sure you schedule in breaks!!!

Step 5: Use productivity techniques

Technique 1: The Pomodoro Technique

At home, your days are less structured without meetings, etc. So it’s important to give yourself some structure. The pomodoro technique is great for that!

You basically just yourself 30 min to 1 hr bursts of work, followed by a short break! Super simple and will keep your momentum going and force you to do some solid focused work, with a little reward after!

Productivity Technique 2: Only set 6 tasks for the day

This is a good rule of thumb for whether you work from home or at an office! This has generally been found to be the magic number so that you don’t get overwhelmed by the idea of too many tasks. 

This is a common rule of people who know that simplicity is the key to productivity. Just set yourself six tasks that you know you can get done. It will work wonders!

Productivity technique 3: Schedule your days with variance, depending on the task

Some days might require long chunks of focused work, others might require short bursts of focus to get lots of little tasks done. Don’t be afraid to change up your daily schedule to match that!

Check some other scheduling tips and productivity misconceptions here!

Step 6: Eliminate distractions

When you don’t necessarily have a strict schedule and you are at home (where there are TONS of distractions).

Here are three simple ways to help with that!

  1. Have a semi-secluded work station.
  2. Let your family know when it’s time for you to work – and ask them politely not to interrupt you. (This might not work if you have kids). But schedule specific times for when they can come into your space or schedule some specific quality time with them throughout the day
  3. Use the freedom app! It blocks any distracting website or app of your choosing on your computer and your phone. Honestly SO helpful! Which brings me to my next point:

Step 7: Invest in a productivity app!

I’m usually not a fan of productivity apps, because there are just too many out there and they can sort of bog down your mind.

However, freedom is an app that simply blocks all of the distracting websites and apps for you! And it works on your phone too! 

When you’re working at home, it can be so easy to get distracted by websites and apps on your phone, especially when your boss isn’t there to monitor you. 

This app is what has saved me while working from home!

Step 8 : Keep designated work hours (and have a cut-off time).

This one is pretty simple, but seriously, have a cut-off time! It can be tempting to try and just get a bit more done, but then you end up working all day!

The beauty of working from home, though, is that it can be whenever you want! So if you sleep in, you can still fit your work day in!

However, I would still encourage your cut-off time to be no later than 6 so that you have motivation to wake up earlier!

Otherwise, you’ll let yourself sleep in later and later, until eventually, you’re working from 12-9! (which trust me, is not great, I have fallen into that schedule…. not so great!)

 

 Step 9: Make Time For exercise!

If your whole day revolves around being at home, it can be really hard to think about getting out and exercising.

It was a lot easier when you could just go to the gym while you were out already! But thanks to Covid right now, that’s not really an option!

So put it in your plan and get used to either just going for a nice walk or doing a fun at home workout! There are so many on instagram! Search @demibagby on instagram she has a whole bunch of fun at-home, full-body workouts that are really fun!

The BONUS of being at home, is that you can just dance with the music blasting as a warm up! You can’t do that at a gym! Well you could if you’re very confident!

Step 10: Keep up your meal prep (or start it).

Did you used to pack a lunch for work every day? Keep that up! Otherwise it’ll take too much time out of your work hours to make a lunch!

Or take one day a week to prepare your lunches! You can check out this amazing weekly meal planner that I sell on etsy! It’s so helpful and it’s the only thing that has gotten me to do my meal prepping!

Step 11: Plan something fun after work! and on your weekend!

Don’t let work spill into your weekend. Just don’t.

Even if you don’t think you do, you NEED a weekend to refresh your brain! 

It can be tempting to squeeze in more work on the weekend (if you’re that type of person! haha, I am depending on what I’m doing), but if you don’t give yourself a nice, big break! 

Otherwise, you’ll burn out! 

You need to have fun and enjoy yourself frequently!

If you want some extra help with your productivity, time-management, and scheduling – check out my free time-management and productivity!

It’s 5 sessions to help you with goal-setting, productivity misconceptions, organization systems, habits, and mindset! It really gives you everything! You can sign up below!

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Owner of Mindaya

Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!

3 Scheduling Mistakes That Are Destroying Your Productivity (And how to fix them!)

3 Scheduling Mistakes That Are Destroying Your Productivity (And how to fix them!)

If you’re struggling to figure out why you’re productivity is bombing, it could be because of one or more of these three counter-intuitive reasons.

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of productivity, I want to address one big misconception about productivity – and that is that you don’t need to be productive all the time.

It is perfectly normal to not have productive days.

I have not met anyone who doesn’t have days where they just don’t get much done. It happens to everyone, we just don’t see their behind-the-scenes life!

Also, life isn’t about being a productivity machine and your worth as a human being also isn’t measured by your productivity.

But productivity can improve your life.

The reason I became obsessed with productivity and effectivity, which I will get to later, is because I was having a lot of unproductive days (which is ok), but I found that it was causing me to waste my own time.

I was used to lazily, “half-doing” my work in efforts to not get too stressed out, BUT THEN I found myself working all day and then feeling tired and burnt out!

I knew that the better option would be to get more work done in less time, and then have more time to properly relax or do things that I enjoyed!

That’s why I want to talk about productivity. And more specifically, scheduling for productivity!

So that you can get the same amount done in way less time, and thus have more time for the important things in life!

So let’s get into the top scheduling mistakes that are destroying your productivity!

Disclaimer: Products on this page may contain affiliate links. We only promote products that we think are super awesome and will provide value to you! You can read more about our terms here.

 #1 You are doing too much or you think you have to do too much

This is a very common misconception for productivity. You want to get tons of things done and you start comparing yourself to other people who seem to be doing a lot, and then you get overwhelmed with work.

This is bad for two reasons. 

 1 – our brains are wired for focus and NOT multitasking.

Having too many things on the go means that your brain can’t fully focus on one thing. Also to do anything right and produce meaningful results, you need to put quite a bit of time and effort into it.

 2 – Doing a small amount of things really well is WAY better than doing a ton of things just ok

Anybody who has done anything great has been very focused. Which means that they have done ONLY the things that have furthered them towards their goals.

And it also might seem like they did it quickly (which might influence you to think that you should be doing things faster), in actuality, it took them a lot longer than you might think to get where they are.

The same things goes for trying to implement good habits or change bad ones, it takes a lot longer than you think to change a habit or make a new one, and it usually takes very small steps to get to a fully changed habit. 

Many people who are super organized, super diligent about exercise, or whatever it might be – have practiced for years or have even more of an advantage because they were raised that way, so those habits are engrained into them.

So if you’re trying to implement a bunch of things that you’re not used to doing, it’s going to take a while. So stay patient and take small steps towards your goals!

#2 You’re actually not even doing the right things 

On top of trying to do too much and reaching for goals on an unrealistic timeline, there’s also the problem of not doing the right things. Sure you might be busy, but are you being productive? And ya you can be productive, but are you being effective?

Being productive means nothing if you’re not doing things that are furthering you towards your goals?

When I was studying in university, my study habits were sometimes pretty good, I was doing work the whole time with limited distractions.

BUT I was doing all the questions that I knew how to do pretty well. I wasn’t studying the harder questions and concepts that would have really furthered my knowledge and helped me on the exams. 

There’s a little rule: find the 20% of things you do that bring you 80% of the results. 

So study those harder questions, make that phone call that will get you that sale, sit down and grind out the details of that hard project!

And take some time to actually figure out what that 20% is that actually gives you results! 

Once you do that, all of the other things will start to feel much less heavy because you’ll be doing the things that MATTER!

#3 You think you don’t have enough time

Alright, so in our first productivity misconception, the point was that sometimes things take more time than you think – and by that I mean: your long term goals!

With smaller tasks in your day, such as exercising, cooking, cleaning, putting in a little extra time for our friends and family – these tasks are vital for your wellbeing and realistically, they don’t have to take too long!

With these sorts of tasks, there’s a pesky little saying, which is “I don’t have enough time”

Sometimes, this is a good attitude to have if you’re saying no to things that are not really important (like someone at work asking you to do something that is not within your scope or something like that).

BUT for things like taking care of your body and making time for the people you love, or the overall maintenance of your day-to-day life, like cooking and cleaning, you need to make time..

You MUST make time for things like cooking, cleaning, and exercising (and getting enough sleep)

These are essential to your health, happiness, and the overall ease of your everyday life. So you need to make time.

You don’t need to do ALL the things EVERY DAY, but you have to make time in your schedule and make these things a priority, or else your health will suffer (and then your productivity and goals will suffer too!)

And, more often than not, you will realize that it’s not about the time it takes to do these things, it’s about whether you want to do them or not.

My solution?

First and foremost: remind yourself why these things are important and that you need to do them. Oftentimes, the things we “don’t have time for” are the things that are going to contribute the most to our long term success.

Example: healthy eating and exercise

They will make you more alert and in a better mood, and will improve your energy levels and productivity. So essentially, they will make you more productive.

So, here’s how to get them done:

  • Schedule in specific time slots in your calendar for these activities that you just need to get done and you know don’t take a ton of time
  • Find ways to make them more fun – make sure you have some music or a podcast ready on your phone before you go do them! Or let yourself have a small reward after you’re done!
  • Make is as easy as possible for yourself to start these tasks. Have your work out clothes ready, make sure your kitchen is clean at the end of the day, make you that you have all the things you need to make cooking easier (i.e. prepped veggies, the right spatula, baking sheets, etc.), and have a cleaning schedule, so you know exactly what you should clean and when!

So to avoid productivity mistakes

The moral of the story is:

Do more of the good things and less of the things that don’t matter!

If you want some extra help with your productivity, time management, and doing the right things for your goals and your overall wellbeing – check out my productivity course!

It’s actually not just a productivity course – it’s a time management, goal-setting, mindset, organization, and much more all rolled into one! And it’s FREE! So what’s are you waiting for?

Sign up!

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Owner of Mindaya

Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
5 Trade Secrets For Maintaining Willpower While Working From Home

5 Trade Secrets For Maintaining Willpower While Working From Home

Working from home. Sounds pretty nice, right?

It’s something that a lot of us would love and even try to build a life around it (i.e. me).

But for some, it can be a bit of a nightmare. (also me)

A lot of people actually rely on the ritual and accountability that working at a workplace can have.

I really know that feeling, the ONLY thing that would get me out of bed in the morning for years was the fear that I would get fired for being late! And sometimes, not even that would help (I was late for work A LOT, whoops!)

Working from home takes a crazy amount of discipline and willpower, especially during a pandemic when your motivation is at an all-time low!

Fortunately, as a seasoned work-from-home-er (and as someone who generally relies on accountability to get things done), I know the struggles that accompany working from home – and I have some awesome and unusual tips for overcoming them!

Disclaimer: Products on this page may contain affiliate links. We only promote products that we think are super awesome and will provide value to you! You can read more about our terms here.

Top tips for maintaining willpower at home! (during a pandemic!)

Now there are a few standards – like having a daily routine and a dedicated workspace that are important, but these tips will go a bit further than that!

My first few tips are pretty standard, thought definitely worth mentioning,  and the last few are where things get interesting!

Tip 1: Get creative with your motivation

I think that one of the biggest reasons for my willpower and discipline is that I have very big goals! And I’m very excited to achieve those goals.

That being said, sometimes on a daily basis, it can be hard to maintain motivation when those goals are so far away.

That’s why I also like using daily motivation strategies.

For example: I hate waking up early (but I know it’s good for me) – so I try to make getting up as nice and easy as possible. So I chose my alarm music to be a song that I really like and when I wake up I make myself a latte (which I really look forward to!)

Another way to motivate yourself daily is to plan something you really enjoy doing for after you finish work! And only let yourself do it if you have completed the task!

But sometimes you need a bit more motivation than that. The laziness is real, folks!

Sometimes, “just planning something fun” isn’t going to be enough motivation.

So here are a couple even more creative things you can do to maintain your motivation!

 1. Keep yourself on track with a friend. Having a sense of accountability is the best way to motivate yourself, but you can lose that when you’re all alone at home.

Instead, get a friend to check in on you to make sure you have done what you were supposed to and you can do the same for them!

2. For extra motivation – put some money on it! The website stickK allows you to place money on yourself, like a bet. If you do your task, you can keep your money.

If you don’t, then the money gets sent to charity (or a charity or person that you don’t like, which is further motivation to stick with it)! This honestly might be the best motivator! 

Tip 2: Eliminate distractions as much as possible

When you don’t have to worry about your boss peering over your shoulder while you’re “taking a break” and looking at videos of puppies eating cheetos, it can be very tempting to get caught up in the weird, but entrancing rabit hole of instagram or facebook videos.

There are also other at-home distractions, such as your family and your oh-so-cozy-looking bed!

Here are a few ways to eliminate those distractions.

  • Use Freedom – it’s an app that blocks whatever you want across all devices. So it blocks website AND apps! You can check it out here here! It has helped me SO MUCH to not browse facebook and instagram all the time!
  • Have your designated workspace that is secluded (or if you don’t have an extra room, try and face a wall or something, so you don’t look at things that might distract you!
  • Have a do-not disturb sign of some sort, so that your family knows not to disturb you when you’re in a deep focus mode!

Tip 3: Find ways to use your willpower LESS

Your daily willpower is limited. And your willpower gets used for every single decision you have to make.

And it is deceiving how many decisions you make in a day!

What kind of breakfast will you have? What will you have for lunch?

Where will your desk be for the day? And should you work on the oh-so-comfy-looking couch?

Will you work out before you work or after you work? What will your workout be?

And as trivial as these may seem, they are slowly depleting you of your will power!

So the solution?

Plan as many things as you can for the day – in advance!

And when you work from home, there are just that many more decisions!

Such as:

Where will I work? When will I have lunch? When will I start work?

When you work from home, your day almost becomes too flexible and ends up hindering your ability to do work.

Things you can plan:

  • your workout clothes (set them out the night before)
  • what days you will work out and what time
  • your meals for the day (you can try my meal planner!)
  • when you eat
  • when you start and stop work
  • where you’re working – like I said, have a dedicated workspace! Or if you like variety, have different workspaces, but plan when you’ll use them.

And again, invest in a productivity app, like freedom or todoist, to keep you on track!

Tip 4: Don’t try to do too much!

This is a common problem for everyone ever. Not to exaggerate, but I think I’m right.

It can be even more tempting when you’re working from home because you have all this magical time because you don’t have a commute and people distracting you at work.

But there’s a little thing called the planning fallacy that you need to keep in mind.

The Planning Fallacy is a human tendency to overestimate how much we can do in a day.

Spoiler alert: you can do a lot LESS than you think you can in a day.

That sounds like a bit of a pessimistic thing to say, but it will actually help you achieve much MORE in life!

Doing less will guarantee that you do it, rather than the alternative: which is planning too many things, getting overwhelmed, and then not doing it.

Over time, you’ll get more done every day if you just stick to things that are manageable.

And most importantly….

TAKE BREAKS!!!

When you work from home, it can be very tempting to try to work as much as possible, in an attempt to get things done earlier in the day! That’s a good idea, right?

Well, yes, if you’re doing it right, but doing it right, involves taking BREAKS!

Your brain absolutely needs a break and it also needs fuel, which brings me to my next point…

Tip 5: Eating properly and drinking water!

If I don’t eat properly, I CANNOT concentrate!

There’s lots of evidence out there about drinking water and eating the right foods and the impact they can have on your concentration.

I know from personal experience that the days I eat healthier are the days where I feel the most energized and able to concentrate!

I actually eat a huge breakfast with a balance of fats, protein, and carbs – plus lots of veggies and fruit!

AND I try to drink a ton of water when I wake up to make sure I get hydrated. (This actually influences my concentration the most)

Also, remember that your brain runs on glucose, so you need carbs for it to work properly!! This doesn’t necessarily mean refined carbs and sugars, but things like fruit, potatoes, and whole grains.

The takeaways for developing and maintaining willpower!

  • Be creative about your motivation
  • Eliminate as many distractions as possible
  • Use your willpower LESS
  • Don’t do too much (and take breaks!)
  • Eat properly and drink water (i.e. take care of your body)
  • Most importantly, listen to your body and go easy on yourself!

Some days will be easier than others – and that’s OK! No one can be 100% everyday, so go easy on yourself! Especially now – it’s a goal pandemic y’all – it’s ok if you’re not disciplined 24/7 and doing 110 things a day.

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Owner of Mindaya

Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!
How to Feel More Fulfilled in Life by Caring Less

How to Feel More Fulfilled in Life by Caring Less

I’m going to ask you a question. It may be a little bit daunting, but bear with me.

Do you feel absolutely fulfilled in your life right now?

Think about it for a moment, and answer honestly.

Now I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I’m willing to bet that a lot of you may have responded with something along the lines of this:

There’s so much more I want to accomplish in life – I don’t feel absolutely fulfilled yet”.

Disclaimer: products on this page may contain affiliate links. We only promote products that we think are super awesome and will provide value to you! You can read more about our terms here.

That 3-letter word: ‘yet’ 

I want you to take a minute here and think about the word ‘yet’. This is a bit of a tricky word. Why? Because it makes us believe that the key to being fulfilled lies somewhere in the future. That we must accomplish ‘XYZ’ before we can be fulfilled. 

This isn’t quite how it works though.

Life fulfillment doesn’t just “appear” once you’ve accomplished your goals. Instead, what we mistakenly label as being “fulfilled” after we achieve these things is more like fleeting satisfaction. It lasts for a short while, and then it disappears. All of a sudden we’re back to feeling how we were before – unfulfilled.

If you keep believing that fulfillment will only arrive once you’ve achieved your goals – you’ll constantly feel unsettled, unsatisfied, and ultimately unhappy with what you’re doing in life.

Fulfillment is available to you NOW

The truth is, life fulfillment is something that you should feel every single day – starting right now.

Before you turn away and mock what I’m saying as “wishful thinking”, I want to share with you one very important quote:

It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit – Denis Waitley

Finding life fulfillment isn’t this big, mystifying quest that a lot of us may imagine it to be. In reality, it’s really quite easy to find.

True life fulfillment, as Mr. Waitley illustrates, can be found in the “happiness of pursuit”. In other words, it lies in doing things that we enjoy doing. Pursuing things. Whether these are larger life pursuits such as starting your own business, writing a book, or raising a family – or smaller pursuits such as learning how to draw, learning about different tree varieties, or even reading books.

We should be pursuing things every single day.

This may sound like a big ask, but it really isn’t. It doesn’t mean we have to accomplish and achieve a certain “goal” every day, it just means we have to occupy ourselves with doing something we enjoy every day. Doing “our stuff”. It’s all about the action of doing, not the end result.

And in the action of doing these things – in pursuing something we like – we will feel completely and totally fulfilled.

The best part is, this feeling of fulfillment won’t just disappear when we stop doing the activity we enjoy. It will last. It will radiate through our whole body every second of the day because we’ll know that we’re doing stuff that means something to us – stuff that we’re interested in, stuff that’s important to us, stuff that we love.

The #1 trick to help you feel more fulfilled

Okay, so in writing, it sounds easy. To be fulfilled, we just have to spend some time during our day doing things we enjoy.

But I know that life gets busy. I know that a lot of us may want to do more things we enjoy during our day, but we may scratch our heads wondering how. Our days seem to go by SO QUICKLY, right? Where on earth are we supposed to find the time to do the things we enjoy doing, right?!

Well, there’s one trick that’s going to help you with this. Here it is:

Cut out the things you don’t care about 

We spend SO many hours of our day occupying our minds with stuff that we really don’t give a crap about. Life is short, and we only have so much mental capacity. If we fill our minds and our lives with too much stuff, we’ll have less time to spend on the stuff that really matters to us. 

Now of course there’s the stuff we have to do. We all have obligations and things that we need to do every day whether we like them or not (*ahem* washing dishes *ahem*). But the truth is, a lot of the time there are other things we don’t truly care about that we can easily cut out of our lives.

To give you some examples, here are the 5 biggest things I’ve cut out of my life to make room for doing more of the things I enjoy:

1. Mindless TV: 

I still watch Netflix every now and then, but not nearly as much as I used to. I find TV can be entertaining, but I really don’t care that much about it. It doesn’t make me feel truly fulfilled.

2. Social media: 

I have a small group of friends that I’m very close to and I message them regularly. Other than that, I don’t feel the need to see every random person’s life updates and photos on my social feed. It’s a total waste of time, and distracts me from doing the stuff that’s really important to me. 

3. Eating out of boredom: 

I used to be a heavy snacker. If I ever had free time during my day, I’d just reach for a little snack and eat it to pass the time. The thing is, I wasn’t even hungry. It was just another useless (but tasty) time-sucker.

4. Keeping in contact with people I’m not close to:

I find it very difficult to keep in regular contact with a lot of people via text. It’s just something that I don’t love doing. I used to stress myself out by trying to keep in contact with old acquaintances constantly, but I finally decided that it was taking up too much of my mental headspace. It may sound a bit cold, but stopping this has helped free up so much of my time!

(FYI – I communicated this to all my acquaintances, so they know that I’m not just ghosting them! I still keep in contact, but only rarely, and they are okay with this)

5. The desire to do too many things

This was the biggest one for me. There are SO many different things I’d love to learn about and do (like most of you I’m sure!). It got to the point that I never knew what to start doing! I had all these fantasies of things I could do – but it was too much choice. It was too overwhelming.

Finally, I decided to narrow it down to TWO (only two!) things that I truly wanted to spend time pursuing. It ended up being yoga and working on my online business. Once I got all the other stuff out of my mental headspace, I felt like I had so much more clarity! Now I can just laser focus on each of these two things! Honestly, I’ve never felt so fulfilled in my life!

To find out what YOU can cut out of your life, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions: 

  • What activities during my day make me feel bad? 
  • What activities during my day make me feel bored?
  • What activities during my day are nice at the time but really don’t add anything to my life?
  • What is taking up too much mental headspace in my life?
  • What is keeping me from doing the things I actually want to do in life? 

Remember: the point here isn’t to cut EVERYTHING out of your life that you don’t like. The point is to define what things don’t bring value to your life so that you are better able to make room for things that do bring value to it!

True life fulfillment is available to you right now, this very second. All you have to do is allow for room for it to flourish!

If you’re looking for more useful tips and tricks on how to start living your BEST, most FULFILLED life, then download my free Anxiety Handbook! In it, you’ll find loads of useful pages (+ journal exercises!) that will help guide you in how to incorporate daily habits into you life that support a healthy, happy mind!

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Sagesse ("Say Jess")

Owner of Mindaya

Hey guys, it’s Sagesse – the face behind website! I’m dedicated to helping you find freedom your anxiety and overcome the mental obstacles that are standing in the way of your best life!